On Hiatus

Sorry that I have been on hiatus for the last week or so. Summer tends to get a little busy in the Bivin household. We've been to Disneyland, San Diego, and about. But we are home now and I have a cool new toy, so I will resume regular posting soon.

Spiritual Sunday

Our last week of the "Go" series. I have really enjoyed this series. I have tried to get in touch with what direction God is moving my life in. I have tried to do some of my own "Go" projects. I have tried to give back to God, by giving back to others in my life. While I am at it, I need to thank a friend, who made me her "Go" project. She gave me her leftover - EXPENSIVE - childcare hours at the gym that I am a member of and that she used to attend. Thank you, Erin!

So today, our pastor talked about Jesus' last "commission," to go and make disciples of others and what it meant to do that. He said, it doesn't mean that you have to go out and push people, but merely "walk with them," talk with them, and my interpretation, basically be a friend. Be a friend that they can lean on, that can pray for them, that can pray with them, that can celebrate with them. Really, how much does that take? For me, not much. I view myself as that kind of a friend, for the most part, anyway. Now, I am not trying to say that I am a perfect Christian by ANY means. But I think that I am off to a good start with being a disciple and making disciples of others. I think that this means to treat all people that you come into contact with in a kind and respectful manner.

How am I making disciples of my fellow men? In the simplest of terms, I am raising my children to be kind-hearted, compassionate, empathetic, respectful people. Meanness and rudeness are not tolerated in this household. And, it is totally paying off. I just have to say how incredibly proud I was of my children during our trip to Disneyland. While we waited in line, they were polite and kind and respectful. They weren't throwing fits; they said excuse me and thank you; they weren't crowding people or invading their space; they weren't trying to cut; they weren't behaving like brats. They talked quietly, patiently waited their turn, didn't complain about waiting, didn't climb on the fences or areas that were not meant to be climbed/sat/walked on, didn't accidentally bump people over and over (if they did, they immediately apologized). This is how I am making disciples. And sometimes God's work isn't hard. This particular job has been frustrating at times. But, really, I don't have to yell at them or do anything more than just ask them to mind their behavior. And they know that means treating people with kindness and respect. I think that is a good start.

Fitness Friday

Well, so much for week 2 of training! We spent the half the week at Disneyland and I missed 3 workouts! Will it kill me? Probably not. But, I hate missing workouts. I always feel like I have to make them up. Oh well. I will just have to maybe try to sneak another one or two in this week.

Also since we were at Disneyland, my eating habits went down the tubes. I did step on the scale. I was very unhappy. Enough said.

Spiritual Sunday

Our pastor returned from his conferences in the South this week. It was very nice to have him back. In honor of Father's Day and to continue the Go Series, he talked about Joseph. He talked about how God told Joseph to go to Egypt for two years, and Joseph did, unquestioningly. He discussed how God tells us to do things also. How do we do what God tells us? First we have to be connected to God. We have to talk to God. But more importantly, we have to listen. Second, we have to trust God enough to listen to Him and do what He tells us. When we do this, His will is done and our lives on the path that He determines they should be on.

I talk often with God. My problem is that I don't listen well enough. I need to learn to open my heart to what God is telling me to do. I do what I think is right, but how do I know if this is what God is telling me to do? I just keep my faith.

Fitness Friday

This was my first week of training! It went well. I have since given up on updating you with my weight loss and measurements. It seems just too depressing. I am trying to convince myself that if I keep up my training and eating well, then the results will follow, which they will. I am just not very patient.

Summer Nights!

Well, almost summer nights! It is nice to have summer back, isn't it? We celebrated our first non-school night, read night-when-we-should-be-going-to-school-the-next-day-but-aren't, with a family bike ride! The kids were so excited to have the nightly bike ride back, for one night!

While we did go on a nice 30 minute bike ride last night, tonight we traded it for Kids-Eat-Free at Applebees' "Slide into Summer." It is just too cold. Last year, we were already complaining that it had been in the 100s for three weeks, this year, I'd be happy to see it hit 80! Not to mention, Tacey started with a nasty sounding cough with no other symptoms until late this afternoon when the runny nose started. I'd really like to attribute it to allergies and the fact that the wind has been blowing at 90 miles per hour for the last three weeks straight, but really, I don't think that is what it is. So, think of us and pray that whatever this is, is gone quickly and stays confimed to Tacey's little body, building her antibodies. I hate to have it travel through the family a few short days before another Disneyland trip.

The Chronicles of School Days, Issue 8

It has been awhile since I have posted any pictures, so here are a few of our last week of school.

Tacey's last day of school! She has completed her first year of preschool! One more year, with an extra day thrown in there. ;)

Taylor had a Kindergarten Celebration and performance. It was so cute!

But he couldn't stand still. It turned out, he was trying to wait patiently because he had to use the restroom!

The Kinder grad and his amazing teacher! She will be seeing a lot of me next year too. I plan to help out in her classroom, considering she will likely have 25 + Kinder kids next year. And the year after, when she has Tacey! We love you!

And his other amazing teacher! I will truly miss her, as she is pregnant with her second child! Congratulations!

They also got to have a Pizza Pool party, the day before the last day of school!

He was cartwheeling into the pools! Those were some good looking cartwheels, he just needs to learn to keep those legs straight!

Taylor's teachers were nice enough to let the little sister attend the pool party! She thought that running from the hose was the best thing ever.

And, here we are, on our way to class, the very last day of Kindergarten!
I forgot to add that I have been a blubbering fool, this entire week! I couldn't even keep my eyes dry as Tacey gave her teachers the gifts that she made for them. And Taylor's celebration? Oh my goodness! I was a mess! I had tears rolling down my face the entire 30 minute performance! But, at least I wasn't the only one. Even his wonderful teacher started to choke up a bit! I even cried as Taylor gave his teachers their gifts. But, never a full bawling, sobbing cry. It was just the tears, buckets full!

Spiritual Saturday?

Yes, this week we attended the Saturday service immediately following our church BBQ. We also had a guest pastor this week, as our pastor is out of town speaking at a huge conference in Georgia, quite an honor. He was away last week also and his brother did an amazing job filling his shoes.

Our guest pastor was okay. I liked his message, but the delivery was too much for me. When our pastor gives a message, he discusses one verse, typically, and really delves into it. This pastor, and some other guest pastors that we have had and pastors at other churches that I have visited, usually choose a topic, then quote several verses that support each other and the topic. I like the former better. It gives me less to digest and therefore a deeper understanding of the subject verse.

At any rate, the message this week was about bearing God's fruit and how we, as Christians are branches off of the vine that is Jesus. He said that God picks up the branches out of the mud and dirt and cleans us, so that we can bear fruit for Him. How do we bear fruit? First we have to remain connected to Jesus. Then we "win souls;" we connect with other people, all people, not just Christians. Then we give and we praise the Lord.

One disagreement that I had with this message was the "giving." While the pastor discussed how we give our money to the church and to others to help them, I truly believe that we can give more than just money for God. I believe that we can give hugs, love, time, understanding, a meal, a shower, a bed, and many, many other things. When I think about living my life as Jesus did, I think about helping people, but not solely monetarily, I see myself helping and "giving" in many other ways. I do give money to my church, because I want to. Because my church does a lot in our local community and our global community. But, I can't always give a lot of money, but I can and do, give of myself, my time and the gifts that God had blessed me with.

As I was sitting listening to this sermon and contemplating it, I realized that God has called me to help other moms at this point in my life. I came to realize this because a friend of mine moved out of the area and away from our local moms group, leaving a position open. Another friend asked if I was interested in applying for the vacant position. The night that the management team of the group meets is usually Josh's night to close at the bank. But because one of the ladies at the bank got a promotion and a transfer, he switched to a different night, leaving me available for the meeting night. Really these things are just small, trivial particulars, but without them falling into the right places, I would not be taking on this responsibility. Thinking about the events and the insignificant details that have occurred in the last week or so, that one would typically chalk up to coincidence, has just left me in awe of the ways in which God works and how He directs our lives in the way He wants it.

God bless you. And I hope that He directs your life, as He has mine.

Fitness Friday

Okay, so here is what I am finding. Last week I had good weight loss but poor measurements. This week, I lost 1 1/4 inches (from my mid-section! Yay!) but gained 8/10 of a pound. Err... I don't get it. I didn't have a great week as I was unmotivated and skipped Monday and Tuesday workouts, but I did workout today instead. Oh well, til next week.

Spiritual Sunday

One of our final "Go" messages, "Go Fish," was brought to us this week by our pastor's brother, who did a phenomenal job! I loved his message. It was from Matthew 4: 18 - 22 about the fishermen, brothers, Peter and Andrew who walked away from their nets when Jesus told them to follow him. It was about what identifies us and how easy it is to change our identity by following Jesus. So it got me to thinking about how my re-devotion to Jesus over the last year has changed me. How has it? I think that it has made me a better person. I've always had a big heart and wanted to reach out and help people, but its different now. I think I search out opportunities now. I reach out to people more. I talk to people more deeply. I connect more now. I try to show appreciation more and reciprocate things that people do for me. I cherish these changes. It makes me proud to look in the mirror and proud that I am setting a good model for my children. What will you "Go" do this week?

Fitness Friday

How did this week go? Pretty good! I lost 1.2 pounds but gained 5/8 of an inch. Huh? I know go figure. I'm just going to chalk it up to my muscles buling up! Ha! I'll keep ya posted. Til next week, have a great workout!

The Chronicles of School Days, Issue 7

I have been fortunate enough to chaperon all of the field trips that Taylor has been on this year and today was no exception. All the Kindergarten classes went to the Library, a park and the Safety Center (the Police and Fire Station, which are housed in the same building, but different sides). The library was wonderful and the kids had a great time at the park. The fire station was beautiful with amazing personnel, despite getting a call.

But I was absolutely appalled at the Police Station tour. The language used by the tour guide was highly inappropriate for 5 and 6 year-olds! He explained to them what happens to people who drink beer and wine and showed them the “Drunk Tank,” and showed them where “bad kids” go. Then he gave them an example of what they might do to find someone who stole another chaperone's wallet and that you never know if a person is good or bad by looking at them. He pointed to me and said, “The lady in the pink shirt is bad.” Okay, not, “Let’s pretend.” Just a blanket statement. My son’s face went white as a ghost. I almost rung the guy’s neck. You see when children have been through what my children have been through, totally uprooted because someone they loved and trusted did something bad that hurt them, statements like that can be devastating. I reassured Taylor that the guide was just pretending. But I was really upset by it. I don’t think that this person realized that children this age see things in black and white, good and bad. What you say to children can leave a very long and lasting impression if you are careful. Thank God that Taylor wasn’t affected by it after I reassured him.

Spiritual Sunday

This week’s sermon continued with the “Go” message from John 9: 1 – 12. Jesus and his disciples happen by a blind man and the disciples inquire who sinned that the man would be blind, the man or his parents. Jesus answered that his circumstances were not because of sin, but so that his life could be used as an example of God’s work. Jesus then spit on the ground and rubbed the mud on the man’s blind eyes. Then He said to the blind man, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam.” The man did and he could see. He went to his neighbors and told them of his meeting with Jesus. What is God telling us to do? Where is he sending us in our lives? Our challenge was to open our Bibles and read what the Lord tells us to do, as simple as it is, and implement it in our lives and observe what changes it makes in our lives. So, I did. I opened my Bible to Acts 18: 9, as the Lord appears to Paul in a night vision. He says, “Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent, for I am with you and no on will attack you to hurt you, for I have many people in this city.” Does this apply to my life? Yes! How? Oh my goodness! I am always afraid! And this affirms that my trust in the Lord should assuage my fears for He will protect me.

Purse Shopping

Mission: To find a new purse.
Specifics: Outside pocket for my phone and built in wallet. Not too large.
Price: Up to $35
Reason: My trusty purse of 4 + plus years (on and off) broke - the strap pulled right out.
Outcome: Crashed and burned.

Okay really now, I have been to 7 stores today with absolutely no luck finding a new purse. I don't need something that is going to hold the kitchen sink, just the kids' emergency medicines, hand sanitizer, my phone and has a built in wallet. I am so frustrated... I have spent the better part of the last 3 days looking. Grr.... I guess its back to the big, bulky suitcase until I can find something functional for me.

Fitness Friday

Happy Friday! It is a happy one this week! First, congratulations to my husband Josh. His journey toward weight loss and a healthy lifestyle are successful! In five short weeks, he has lost 13 pounds! Congratulations, I am very proud of you! (And a little jealous too! But way more proud!)

I had a successful week too! Not as big as Josh's news, but still. I lost 1.4 pounds since my weigh-in last Friday! Woohoo! And a total of 1 1/2 inches! All this despite, having a wild night out with the girls, cheating on food a bit this week and skipping my "normal" Sunday, Monday and Tuesday workouts, but making them up on Wednesday. In addition to my "off" day being Thursday instead of today, Friday. Not too shabby.

What did I do different though? I think I unstuck my scale by drinking more water every day and getting more sleep at night. I'll keep trying that! Whatever it was it worked!

I have yet to follow through with the health tracker, though. Maybe this week. It just seems so time consuming and that is something that I don't have a ton of. I think I would really like it if I could consistently use it because you can track trends, which would be cool. Oh well. We'll see how this week shapes up.

Spiritual Sunday

In continuation of our "Go" series, our pastor preached on the story of Ruth and Naomi. How Ruth, after the death of her husband and the departure of her sister-in-law, refused to leave Naomi, committing herself to Naomi through and through. The moral? How God is the glue in our relationships.

Why is God the glue in our relationships? I contemplated this for some time. The first thing that I always seem to apply the messages to is my relationship with my mom. Since our estrangement, I have recommitted my life and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. However, has she? I do not know. So, my first reaction to this message was that our relationship is broken because I have a strong relationship with God, while hers is weak.

But, I don't think that is what is meant by this message. I think that what is meant by "God is the glue," is that God brings people together. I think about my life currently and I consider the people that are in my life. I think about all of the people that God has put in my life in the last 18 months and I can see a purpose for each of them. (This doesn't mean that the people in my life prior to these last 18 months weren't put there by God for a purpose, it just means that I haven't contemplated that yet.) Take, for example, Taylor's teacher. I prayed and begged God that we would not end up in the school district that we are in. I knew what was best for my kid and this definitely was not it. Then it came to pass, that we were stuck here. So I prayed and begged that we get into a different school. But alas, we didn't, we ended up exactly where we are. Why? Because God put this amazing veteran teacher in my son's life to help him through his first year of school, to help him to bloom and blossom as no one else could have. And He put her in my life, to remind me that I only get one chance to do right by my kid and to help me be an advocate for him.

I could regale you with similar stories through pages and pages on this blog analyzing the relationships in my life and identifying why God has put each of them there, but I don't think that I need to. I think that you can see how "God is the glue."

Who has God "glued" you to?

Fitness Friday

Well, this has not been an overly successful week. I'm a little sick about it. While I didn't do horribly, I did cheat a bit. First, I didn't exercise on Tuesday, then I had a wonderful chicken and pasta anniversary dinner. Second, I didn't track my calories this week. My goal was to use the calorie counter for 1 week, I failed miserably, only using it for two days - the ones that I posted about last week. Third, I cheated and had dessert several nights this week. And the worst news... I gained 6/10 of a pound. I know I am probably being too hard on myself and should consider some of the other factors in my life right now. But no room for excuses. It was a bad week.

The thin silver lining is that I did make up the workout that I missed on Tuesday and I netted a 1/4 inch loss in body measurements. I did have good workouts this week, completing 557 minutes of exercise in the form of walking, running, intervals, step classes, weight lifting classes, resistance band training, Core classes, stability ball ab exercises and stretching. In fact, yesterday I did about 600 ab exercises! Woo! I'm tired just thinking about it!

But the real feather in my cap is that I spent 35 minutes on the treadmill and went 2.93 miles. I was trying for 3 miles. And this probably seems like a slow pace to all of you fit health freaks that are my friends, but for an old, overweight mommy, I'm pretty proud of this time. I doubt I'll ever see the my high school pace in the 7 minute miles, but I hope to see tens again some day. Hopefully by September I'll be in the twelves.

Goal for next week: use the calorie counter for one week Saturday through Thursday. Hold me accountable.

Our 8th Anniversary

That's right, Josh and I celebrated our 8th anniversary today. Josh did a great job planning. He took me to dinner at a restaurant at one of our favorite places (not a favorite restaurant), then got us a fresh water hot tub for two childless hours. All this after which he brought me home, not one, but TWO dozen roses, one red and one white with small purple accent flowers (I have no idea about flower varieties)! He got the white ones because he thought they were gorgeous. What can I say, I lucked out marrying the King of Romance! Happy anniversary baby! I love you!

Spiritual Sunday

I find myself crying in church often. It is so emotional for me to listen to how Jesus has saved my soul. It is reassuring to hear how I am not expected to be perfect and even the most devout followers have doubts sometimes. This week's sermon was precisely on this topic. Our pastor read a passage from Matthew about John the Baptist's imprisonment. During his imprisonment, one of history's most devout Christians, John couldn't believe that it was really Jesus, the Savior coming to Galilee. Jesus told the disciples to report to John the good news that Jesus had come. This was the good news that John had been waiting, the good that Jesus was doing in his life.

We were then given these thought provoking questions: What is the most recent good thing that's happened in your life? What would you report Jesus has done in your life?

I tend to look for big things that Jesus has done in my life, but not everything has to be a big thing. Most recently, I was driving home from the Bay area with the kids, by myself. It was late and the kids were asleep in the back seat. My gas gauge needle was getting lower, but according to the estimated distance left, I could make it home. The truth is, I was very nervous about stopping to get gas in an unknown town, late at night, with two sleeping kids. So, I kept on trucking, I watched the gauge go down and I was getting quite nervous about making it home. So, I started praying, asking our Lord to watch over us, to get us home. I turned on my favorite Christian rock songs and prayed and prayed. I made it to the gas station in my hometown, safe and sound! This wasn't really a big thing that happened, it was very small thing, but it was God answering my prayers. I would say that this is just one of the things that Jesus has done in my life. I am thankful.

What would you report that Jesus has done in your life?

Alliteration Series

Some of the blogs that I subscribe to have series, such as: Friday's Fun Find, Silly Saturday, Make-It Monday. I love the alliterations and really enjoy reading these quick fun blogs. So I decided to start a couple of my own. First, Fitness Friday is a blog series that I intend to use to update you on my journey to change my life-style. And I want to post a Spiritual Sunday series dedicated to discussing my feelings on my church's Sunday service and my spiritual growth. Please come back to look for these series.

Fitness Friday

This week I have completed 5.85 hours of exercise in the form of walking, Step classes, weight lifting classes, stability ball abdominals, resistance band training and stretching. I have lost 4/10 of a pound and taken a baseline for my measurements. I have consumed a two-day average of 1,735 calories and burned a two-day average (including my lifestyle baseline) or 2,125 calories. Yay! But, this is only a two-day average. Next week will be a better indication of how I am doing since, I will have a week-long average.

Health Tracker

Check out this cool health tracker I found on Prevention Magazine's website.

http://www.prevention.com/cda/healthtracker.do?fdpath=oi%2FFitDay%2FHome.html%3F_a_Date%3D1242172800.%26_a_rdata%3DFitWrapper%26_s_FormName%3Doi9%26_s_FormCheck%3D-2028766650%26_s_RangeName%3DDay1%26_s_oi1_oi9%3DUPDATE&rdata=FitWrapper&rpagename=Home&rpagecategory=Home

You can sign up, input all your personal information, such as height, weight, age, then what type of lifestyle you have. You can input the food you have eaten, exercise you have completed and it tracks it for you. You can ask it to view trends, you can input and track your body measurements. I am loving this.

So, my goal is to lose 17 pounds. And in doing so, I intend to use this health tracker to help me do it. I also intend to use my blog, to hold myself accountable. I am hoping to complete a half marathon this year, finally! I am going to start a new series here, Fitness Friday. Since Friday is my "off" day for exercise and strict diet, I will utilize it to update you on my weekly exercise, weight loss and measurement changes. Hopefully we will both be pleasantly surprised by the end of the summer. :) Thanks for you help.

The Chronicles of School Days, Issue 7

So, it has been awhile, but let me update you on school. There have been lots of ups and downs, but we now have an IEP in place for Taylor. The speech therapist at his school didn't think that he qualified for services any longer. Since Josh and I disagreed with his initial findings, we asked for a second opinion. While the district is supposed to pay for an independent therapist to evaluate students when the parents request a second opinion, we were asked and agreed to allow another one of the district's therapists evaluate him. Fortunately, this was one of the parents of fellow soccer campers last summer. So we had a rapport.

Her report was incredibly thorough and professionally prepared and had some of the same findings, but also disagreed with some of the findings. It determined that Taylor is, in fact, qualified for services. Some of his mistakes are not age appropriate, even for a 4 year-old Kindergartner. His goals were re-evaluated and amended to goals that we find will be beneficial. The proposed goals were those that he had already met. It didn't make any sense. So, we were happy that the second evaluation had an outcome that will help Taylor's speech improve.

Taylor also qualified for a 504 which is a blessing too. The school psychologist also evaluated Taylor and agreed with his pediatricians, Taylor suffers from anxiety. The 504 will ensure that we can help him recover and learn to minimize the impact of his anxiety on his life. Overall, these are two huge victories for him.

We are guaranteed that he gets to meet his teacher for next year and build a rapport with him/her before the transition to first grade. However with the budget issues this year, they haven't narrowed down who will be teaching first grade, making it impossible for Taylor to get to know his future teacher. This is very frustrating for me. I talked to the school psychologist briefly today, though, and she will be working on this issue for me.

I find myself obligated to mention that landing at the elementary school that we have has been a total blessing. While we desperately tried to get into a different school district only to be shot down by the school board, twice, God's will was done, in Taylor going to school where he is. Every time that I go to the school, it is a daily reminder that God's will and plan are perfect. He knows what is best and will make it happen. Thanks be to God.

SLOCMiversary

Today is the first anniversary of my membership on slocountymommies.com. I am celebrating today because this site has been a blessing in my life. I have made some wonderful friends for myself and my children through this site. If not for this site, I would still be a lonely stay-at-home mommy. Thank you to the founder for starting the site. Thank you to the site administrators, the mangers, and the moderators for volunteering your time to make this a wonderful place for moms to connect. Thank you to the mommies who commented and reached out to me at one of the saddest, most desperate moments of my life. Thank you to the host of last year's Mother's Day gift exchange and the members who attended for welcoming me so sweetly. Thank you all.

Disneyland Days

We have successfully waited four years to take the kids to Disneyland. We wanted to wait to because it is so expensive and the kids weren't big enough to enjoy it or remember it or go on many rides. So we finally did it. We took them over Spring Break and they loved it!!!

Taylor is a roller coaster junkie!!! Josh took him on Space Mountain, then we all went on the Matterhorn. I took him on Big Thunder Mountain and Indiana Jones. We tried to get him on California Screaming in California Adventure, but they said he was tall enough. That's a bunch of crap, but also a rant topic for another post.

Tacey wasn't much for the roller coasters, but she excited to see the castle and loved meeting all the Princesses. Just that totally made her trip. Although it was extremely expensive, we had lunch with them and were fortunate enough to meet all of them. It was worth it, just to see Tacey's little face light up when Cinderella walked up to our table and introduced herself.

I got to spend my birthday at Disneyland. That was pretty cool. I'd always wanted to eat at that restaurant inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Turns out, it is called Blue Bayou. We had a lovely dinner there on my birthday. The food was great and the service amazing.

Thank you SLOCM friend for letting me borrow your Ergo! It was a life saver when Tacey got tired. She was able to take a nap and we were still able to enjoy Disneyland as a family.

Despite the fun we had and the memories we made, Walt was rolling over in his grave over the poor customer service that we received by some "cast members." This piggy-backs the height comment above, but it is best mentioned in a rant post or a "Disney Dos and Don'ts" post. Let me just say that make sure your shortest members are two inches taller than the posted height requirements if you intend to take them on any of the bigger rides.

We are looking forward to going back at least two or three times over the next 12 months. And I will be running in the Disneyland Half Marathon in September.

Happy Birthday Tacey!

Happy birthday to my baby, Tacey, the baby of the family. I can't believe that she is 4! It is such a bitter sweet feeling. The birthday of the first born and second born are totally different, at least for me. With the oldest, it is a feeling of nostalgia, one of accomplishment, the firsts, the parenting mistakes, the uncharted territories. With the second, it is one of relief that we have both survived, the twos and the threes, and are safely headed into the fours. It is one of sadness, that this little person, was the last baby I nursed, the last one in a crib, the last nursery that was decorated, the last one rocked to sleep. But it is also liberating, free from bottles and sippy cups and feeding times and diaper bags and diapers and diaper pails and strollers and high chairs. Four is a milestone. It is that age when you realize that your baby isn't a baby anymore, she is a big girl now. She is capable of washing her own hands and putting on her own clothes and opening the car door on her own. It is a feeling of finally being able to reclaim my life. The person that I am and was before I was someone's mom. Don't get me wrong, I would never trade being someone's mom or wife for anything in the world. But now that my youngest child is four, I am Sunny again, not just Taylor's and Tacey's mom. I am free to peruse my own interests again, while the kids are at school of course. But for six beautiful hours each week, I am just Sunny.

Tacey, on her fourth birthday.

My angel, on the day she came home from the hospital.